hitting another PMS slump. i have FINE LINES around my eyes!!! i'm panicked. i'm aging. a wave of regret is starting to creep up on me. it must be sun damage. all those hours lying down in the glorious sun to get that sun kissed tan. on top of that, i feel like no matter how hard i work out, i'm not losing any weight. pout pout pout.
on the upside, shopping date tomorrow with my bestfriend. i'm not even going to care if i run my savings to the ground.
bad habits starting to crawl into my system. caffine, my once in a while nicotine.. etc. etc.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
dammit
CONIO!!
i cracked. i said it last night. cuddling on the couch and my head was resting on his shoulder. i couldn't help it. i forgot all about my experiment and whispered "i love you". oh well.. i guess i never was the type to hold back.
i cracked. i said it last night. cuddling on the couch and my head was resting on his shoulder. i couldn't help it. i forgot all about my experiment and whispered "i love you". oh well.. i guess i never was the type to hold back.
Monday, April 25, 2005
the next reality show
when most people think of preschool teachers, a woman in her twenties who pleasant, patient and sooooooooo nice comes to mind. well, that was my impression of preschool teachers anyway, until i actually became one.
apparently there's this war going on between the teachers in school and you're either on one side or the other. it started between two teachers who were bestfriends and then some other new teacher came in. now dubbed the "devil herself" by the others, she made up alot of intrigues that caused the two friends to fight, which therefore divided up the whole school into this really big mess.
it's a little retarded though, i must say. but everyone seems to be so into it. gossip, cold icy stares in the hallways, loud meant-to-be-heard comments, sabotages. there's even one girl who throws up whenever she sees the "devil" from the other side. and i'm not joking. she runs to the bathroom and pukes whenever she meets her in the hall. and i've seen it happen!! and there's a stolen videotape of them sabotaging the graduation ceremony of the prep class. i just shut up and listen to their stories but it looks like my "side" has been decided for me since i hang out with one group of teachers because i was assigned to them so naturally i'd form a friendship with them faster than with anyone else.
and preschool is supposed to be a happy carefree place! oh.. and they can really drink. haha. and one girl lives next to a weed farm in the province. she even offered to bring me grade A weed next time she visits her province if i really want. WTF! and on the other side of the spectrum is a really charming girl who's 27 and hasn't had a boyfriend yet and lives in fairytale land with her imaginary prince charming who'll materialize into reality someday.
i feel like i'm in some really twisted TV show.
apparently there's this war going on between the teachers in school and you're either on one side or the other. it started between two teachers who were bestfriends and then some other new teacher came in. now dubbed the "devil herself" by the others, she made up alot of intrigues that caused the two friends to fight, which therefore divided up the whole school into this really big mess.
it's a little retarded though, i must say. but everyone seems to be so into it. gossip, cold icy stares in the hallways, loud meant-to-be-heard comments, sabotages. there's even one girl who throws up whenever she sees the "devil" from the other side. and i'm not joking. she runs to the bathroom and pukes whenever she meets her in the hall. and i've seen it happen!! and there's a stolen videotape of them sabotaging the graduation ceremony of the prep class. i just shut up and listen to their stories but it looks like my "side" has been decided for me since i hang out with one group of teachers because i was assigned to them so naturally i'd form a friendship with them faster than with anyone else.
and preschool is supposed to be a happy carefree place! oh.. and they can really drink. haha. and one girl lives next to a weed farm in the province. she even offered to bring me grade A weed next time she visits her province if i really want. WTF! and on the other side of the spectrum is a really charming girl who's 27 and hasn't had a boyfriend yet and lives in fairytale land with her imaginary prince charming who'll materialize into reality someday.
i feel like i'm in some really twisted TV show.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
you first.
today:
went diving in hiluntungan with hannah and stan. BEAUTIFUL. not to mention, one dive takes up about 1,000 cals. and i did two dives. i should do this more often.
on other news:
i've embarked on a little experiment. i've stopped saying "i love you" to him. i've kinda noticed that it's more or less, if not always, me who says "i love you" first in this relationship. not that i really mind... okay fine, since i'm a girl i'm entitled to mind. haha. but just a teeny tiny bit. but i'd really like to be on the "i love you too." end of it. i know he loves me but i guess it's different when he says it first without my prompt. in my past relationship i've also been the one who gave more and that really didn't get me anywhere. i had a talk with my bestfriend once and she told me that i really had to learn to wait and receive. so here i am.. two days and counting and he hasn't said it first. hehe. i wonder what the total tally of days will be. hmmmm...
now if i can only RESIST saying it.
went diving in hiluntungan with hannah and stan. BEAUTIFUL. not to mention, one dive takes up about 1,000 cals. and i did two dives. i should do this more often.
on other news:
i've embarked on a little experiment. i've stopped saying "i love you" to him. i've kinda noticed that it's more or less, if not always, me who says "i love you" first in this relationship. not that i really mind... okay fine, since i'm a girl i'm entitled to mind. haha. but just a teeny tiny bit. but i'd really like to be on the "i love you too." end of it. i know he loves me but i guess it's different when he says it first without my prompt. in my past relationship i've also been the one who gave more and that really didn't get me anywhere. i had a talk with my bestfriend once and she told me that i really had to learn to wait and receive. so here i am.. two days and counting and he hasn't said it first. hehe. i wonder what the total tally of days will be. hmmmm...
now if i can only RESIST saying it.
Friday, April 22, 2005
better
hmm.. i thought my blog needed a face lift. and the other template was too hard to read. better now, don't you think?
anyway, i've decided to plant dill. as a business. dad and i were talking over lunch and he was telling me how much a kilo of dill goes nowadays. you can make a thousand bucks or more a week! looks like i'm going to be spending alot of time up there in the farm. dad's going to give me my own little parcel of land to farm. stan's pretty busy with his upcoming Apple store and i don't want to be the pining-away-life-on-hold girlfriend. plus i get to make a few bucks on the side.
***
i totally splurged on a pair of italian gold earrings the other day. it was a pretty good imitation of that cartier design with the screws. what the hell was i thinking?! oh well, they're really pretty and i haven't bought myself something this expensive in a really long time.
***
i have a feeling i'm going to gain even more weight if i don't enforce my diet strictly. my closest friends at school is a pregnant girl and the other eats like a borse but never gains weight. haha.
anyway, i've decided to plant dill. as a business. dad and i were talking over lunch and he was telling me how much a kilo of dill goes nowadays. you can make a thousand bucks or more a week! looks like i'm going to be spending alot of time up there in the farm. dad's going to give me my own little parcel of land to farm. stan's pretty busy with his upcoming Apple store and i don't want to be the pining-away-life-on-hold girlfriend. plus i get to make a few bucks on the side.
***
i totally splurged on a pair of italian gold earrings the other day. it was a pretty good imitation of that cartier design with the screws. what the hell was i thinking?! oh well, they're really pretty and i haven't bought myself something this expensive in a really long time.
***
i have a feeling i'm going to gain even more weight if i don't enforce my diet strictly. my closest friends at school is a pregnant girl and the other eats like a borse but never gains weight. haha.
burps and farts
i've often wondered when stan and i will make that transition into the sort of couple that doesn't put up pretense anymore. you know, the type that burps, farts, craps and does other bodily functions in the presence of their significant other.
today might be the start of those things to come.
stan usually calls me before he goes to bed. tonight the phone rang, as expected. and i pick up.
me: "hello. hello. hello? heellloooo?"
him: says absolutely nothing for a good three minutes and all i hear is him eating junkfood with the TV noise. i can tell it's him because we've talked EVERYDAY for almost a year so i'm pretty familiar with the background noise.
me: "baby?"
him: *crunch crunch crunch crunch*
me: "what are you doing?"
him: mumble mumble mumble (it's inaudible with all the crunching)
haha. yes folks. i am now entering that realm. well, stan is anyway. hahahaha.
today might be the start of those things to come.
stan usually calls me before he goes to bed. tonight the phone rang, as expected. and i pick up.
me: "hello. hello. hello? heellloooo?"
him: says absolutely nothing for a good three minutes and all i hear is him eating junkfood with the TV noise. i can tell it's him because we've talked EVERYDAY for almost a year so i'm pretty familiar with the background noise.
me: "baby?"
him: *crunch crunch crunch crunch*
me: "what are you doing?"
him: mumble mumble mumble (it's inaudible with all the crunching)
haha. yes folks. i am now entering that realm. well, stan is anyway. hahahaha.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
massive update
i actually skipped gym to blog. haha. i just had to update the sad state my blog was rotting in. significant events in a nutshell:
two weeks ago:
andie left for manila to attend ballet camp at CCP. just yesterday, hannah announced that we were all going to manila mid may to watch her recital. first family outing in two years. blink blink. stare. blink blink.
lately:
been the target of both parental units. god knows why. do i have a sign on my back that says "Punching Bag"? me thinks they're taking out their frustrations of each other on me.
trying desperately to diet and lose weight. decided on a sweets on weekends only deal. gaaaaaahhh!
last friday:
my prep class graduated. hugs and kisses i will miss.
saturday:
garage sale with maya and liza. fun times. i miss hanging out with my girls. cafe havana finally opened in cebu. mangojito rocks!
sunday:
the beach. nuf said!=) oh yeah.. jellyfish got me. i have itchy welts on my arms and legs and chest!
yesterday:
played hooky to do personal errands. stan's ex dropped by his office to have him fix her ipod. blink blink. stare. blink blink.
me: c u in a bit. gonna leave after lunch.
him: okay, candy's here having her ipod fixed.
me: oh okay. i won't rush then. *wink*
him: haha! okay ra uy. come over.
me: no, that's okay. will wait till you're done. i'll be really uncomfortable.
him: fine fine
me: mwah! =)
her ex (who is the older brother of an ex fling of mine whom i went out on a couple of dates with WHILE still being involved with his brother and ended up being really close to me, him and his brother) called me to hang out since he was here from the states. ha! =P
two weeks ago:
andie left for manila to attend ballet camp at CCP. just yesterday, hannah announced that we were all going to manila mid may to watch her recital. first family outing in two years. blink blink. stare. blink blink.
lately:
been the target of both parental units. god knows why. do i have a sign on my back that says "Punching Bag"? me thinks they're taking out their frustrations of each other on me.
trying desperately to diet and lose weight. decided on a sweets on weekends only deal. gaaaaaahhh!
last friday:
my prep class graduated. hugs and kisses i will miss.
saturday:
garage sale with maya and liza. fun times. i miss hanging out with my girls. cafe havana finally opened in cebu. mangojito rocks!
sunday:
the beach. nuf said!=) oh yeah.. jellyfish got me. i have itchy welts on my arms and legs and chest!
yesterday:
played hooky to do personal errands. stan's ex dropped by his office to have him fix her ipod. blink blink. stare. blink blink.
me: c u in a bit. gonna leave after lunch.
him: okay, candy's here having her ipod fixed.
me: oh okay. i won't rush then. *wink*
him: haha! okay ra uy. come over.
me: no, that's okay. will wait till you're done. i'll be really uncomfortable.
him: fine fine
me: mwah! =)
her ex (who is the older brother of an ex fling of mine whom i went out on a couple of dates with WHILE still being involved with his brother and ended up being really close to me, him and his brother) called me to hang out since he was here from the states. ha! =P
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
ahem!
oi. i'm alive! stress has been eating me alive the past few days. i'm in dire need of some sun, sand and sea this weekend.
anyway, much to say that can't be said. haha.
anyway, much to say that can't be said. haha.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
chicken yakisoba
thank God for spicy chicken yakisoba. haha. i've got absolutely nuts over it.
my prep kids are graduating in a week. i'm scrambling to get all their presentation numbers polished, wrapping up their lessons, finishing their yearbooks... next school year all of them will be going to other schools. it didn't really hit me that i'd only have a few days with them till Adi (cute little 6 year old with brown eyes and sandy blonde hair) me if i could be their teacher forever and transfer school as well. aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww... shit. i'm going to miss these kids.
my prep kids are graduating in a week. i'm scrambling to get all their presentation numbers polished, wrapping up their lessons, finishing their yearbooks... next school year all of them will be going to other schools. it didn't really hit me that i'd only have a few days with them till Adi (cute little 6 year old with brown eyes and sandy blonde hair) me if i could be their teacher forever and transfer school as well. aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww... shit. i'm going to miss these kids.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
people are people
I am the one
who believes in all that you say
I am the one
who never wants to define herself
I am the one
who’s paralell, upfront, behind
I am the one
paddling like crazy through the night
Refine, old time, colourblind
Big sign, do time, doesn’t rhyme
A lot, to much, standing tall
And I’m crying in the valley:
“I shall never, ever fall!”
People are people
and I feel so strong
People are people and I’m
going on
I am the one
who stirs it up everytime
I am the one
who never knows how close she is
I am the one
who’d rather be dead than confess
I am the one
trying to be good, wanting to be bad and so on
Excess, temptress, big mess
Phoney, lonely, it’s a test
Be still my heart, don’t you fail
And I’m crying on the stagefloor:
“I will always prevail!”
I’m going on…
-people are people, d'sound
i feel my strength starting to fail me and my talons slowly finding it's way to his sleeve. blame it on routine, blame it on familiarity. but as soon as things kinda make a side trip off the ordinary, i get panicked. in the words of the great coldplay "nobody said it wa easy, no one ever said it would be this hard."
ay.. it's a struggle to keep your game face on when you feel like screaming foul! nerves standing on end. heart pumping. thoughts racing. hopefully this is all just some really bad PMS.
me: (quoted from kaka) being cheated on should be like chicken pox. it should only happen to you once in a lifetime.
my comfort blanket: he's not the type. he never has. of all of us guys, he's had the lowest score. you're really getting paranoid.
me: yeah, i think i'm traumatized for life.
who believes in all that you say
I am the one
who never wants to define herself
I am the one
who’s paralell, upfront, behind
I am the one
paddling like crazy through the night
Refine, old time, colourblind
Big sign, do time, doesn’t rhyme
A lot, to much, standing tall
And I’m crying in the valley:
“I shall never, ever fall!”
People are people
and I feel so strong
People are people and I’m
going on
I am the one
who stirs it up everytime
I am the one
who never knows how close she is
I am the one
who’d rather be dead than confess
I am the one
trying to be good, wanting to be bad and so on
Excess, temptress, big mess
Phoney, lonely, it’s a test
Be still my heart, don’t you fail
And I’m crying on the stagefloor:
“I will always prevail!”
I’m going on…
-people are people, d'sound
i feel my strength starting to fail me and my talons slowly finding it's way to his sleeve. blame it on routine, blame it on familiarity. but as soon as things kinda make a side trip off the ordinary, i get panicked. in the words of the great coldplay "nobody said it wa easy, no one ever said it would be this hard."
ay.. it's a struggle to keep your game face on when you feel like screaming foul! nerves standing on end. heart pumping. thoughts racing. hopefully this is all just some really bad PMS.
me: (quoted from kaka) being cheated on should be like chicken pox. it should only happen to you once in a lifetime.
my comfort blanket: he's not the type. he never has. of all of us guys, he's had the lowest score. you're really getting paranoid.
me: yeah, i think i'm traumatized for life.
Monday, April 04, 2005
happay birthday hannah
my poor pc has THIRTY FIVE frikkin viruses. it just got back from the stans shop a few days ago. but now, my frikkin modem won't connect. thank God for computer savvy boyfriends. hopefully stan can fix it.
***
just dug myself out of a major mood swing that lasted for days and days and days. i felt like staying in bed all day. and it got even worse when stan told me that he might go to manila for the weekend for sherwins birthday. i didn't want him to go for all the insane, irrational reasons that make sense to women. but i refused to get emotional and let that show. i smilingly offered to take him to the airport and pick him up when he got back but i subtley let it slip that i had plans to party hard while he was gone because i didn't believe in sitting around and waiting for him. teehee. guess that kinda worked because he ended up staying instead.
we're exactly 3 months away to being one year together and so far it's been one of the best years of my life. he hasn't made me cry yet, our arguments have never escalated into major fights, he's far from perfect but i love him more each time i discover some weird quirk, even though he doesn't know i get jealous i see him taking an effort to avoid making me feel bad , i feel independent but never abandoned, my family loves him to death, he calls more than i call, i used to need to hear "i love you" all the time but he's changed all that.
maybe things would get better over the years, maybe it's all downhill from this point. i'm just so thankful for the experience to finally find what i've been looking for.
***
hannah's birthday today. barbeque and make-it-yourself smore party at the house tonight. stan and i have a little suprise for her. (incase she reads this, i won't blog about it just yet). she will kill me after, but the look on her face will be worth it! (evil cackle)
***
just dug myself out of a major mood swing that lasted for days and days and days. i felt like staying in bed all day. and it got even worse when stan told me that he might go to manila for the weekend for sherwins birthday. i didn't want him to go for all the insane, irrational reasons that make sense to women. but i refused to get emotional and let that show. i smilingly offered to take him to the airport and pick him up when he got back but i subtley let it slip that i had plans to party hard while he was gone because i didn't believe in sitting around and waiting for him. teehee. guess that kinda worked because he ended up staying instead.
we're exactly 3 months away to being one year together and so far it's been one of the best years of my life. he hasn't made me cry yet, our arguments have never escalated into major fights, he's far from perfect but i love him more each time i discover some weird quirk, even though he doesn't know i get jealous i see him taking an effort to avoid making me feel bad , i feel independent but never abandoned, my family loves him to death, he calls more than i call, i used to need to hear "i love you" all the time but he's changed all that.
maybe things would get better over the years, maybe it's all downhill from this point. i'm just so thankful for the experience to finally find what i've been looking for.
***
hannah's birthday today. barbeque and make-it-yourself smore party at the house tonight. stan and i have a little suprise for her. (incase she reads this, i won't blog about it just yet). she will kill me after, but the look on her face will be worth it! (evil cackle)
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