the ex files

last sunday was the first time i bumped into my ex since we broke up. it was at a poker game at Casino Filipino. i dropped stan off because i wanted to go home for a bit and i was going to catch up with him after an hour or so. when i get home, i get a text from stan going "your ex is here."

i replied with a "oh ok. don't worry about it."

when i finally got to the casino, the game was in full swing with about 10 poker tables full of men clinking their chips. then, the crowd seemed to part and there he was sitting at a table, cards in hand. we sort of locked eyes and i offered a small smile. he seemed to look at me and connect that the guy i was holding hands with was my boyfriend and looked right past us. no smile. no emotion. no eyebrow raise of recognition.

i guess it's just funny how someone i once cried buckets of tears for has no effect on me whatsoever. i neither felt happy nor sad or any other emotion when i saw him. it's as if we were strangers again. like we had no past. the rest of the afternoon went on as usual. no awkward hi-hellos. we didn't even get within 5 feet of each other.

i have no profound realization about this. just something to share. well, maybe i have one. no matter how bad it seems and how much you feel like your world is going to fall apart over how bad he hurt you, there will come a day when you'll be totally gorgeous and hot holding the hand of another guy who's so wonderful, not to mention gorgeous and hot, that he's kissed away every hurt feeling you've ever had, made you brand new with a heart full of love that it's enough to erase your ugly past.