dinner for two

is it just me or does the weather turn bad when you're sad? well anyway, it's heavily overcast... no hint of a sunny day suddenly peeping through the gray clouds that threaten to leak raindrops. heartache weather, i call it.

dinner with my mother last night. just the two us. something's always up when that happens.

her: your dad is almost moving out. we're just finalizing the arrangements.
me: tummy in knots. says nothing. what the hell do you say to that anyway??

she told me that it's come to a point where she couldn't get anything out of my dad except friendship and that she could not imagine living with a man who after 24 years of marriage just wants to be friends.

those words cut like a hot knife through butter.

that was my worst fear sitting infront of me. i cried in sympathy for her and in part because fear of suffering the same fate started to trickle in.

she asked me how i felt about it and whether i harbour resentment towards her for kicking him out. honestly, no. i told her that i will respect her decisions in her marriage because when i get married i want her to respect the decisions i make in my own marriage. i told her that it wasn't up to me and my sisters to decide what should be done but rather it was our responsibility to stand by both of them even if they're at opposite ends.

someone told me that people get married because apart from a select few who get famous, a large part of humanity lives in anonymity. marriage is then some way to have someone become a witness to your life.

so why pollute our mind with ideas like soulmates and forever? why fantasize about walks on the beach and magical sunsets? why romantisize the simplest things like flowers and chocolate? why fall in love?

because it feels damn good.