"i'm going to have a stroke."

this is what i hear as i groggily pick up the phone at 1AM this morning. my heart skips a beat as my ears realize that it's my baby on the other end. for a split second, my brain actually takes this literally and i almost spring for my car keys.

apparently things in the father-son department aren't doing so well and he needs a sympathetic ear. nevermind that it's 1AM. i'm secretly glad he called me even if it's 1AM.

things explode. things from the past gets dug up. i tell myself that he needs a friend right now and not a jealous girlfriend in need of reassuring. if there's anyone who needs reassuring, it's him. he's more fragile than most people think. he might be old enough to take care of his mini-empire, makes all these grown-up decisions and order people around but at the end of the day he really is my baby who likes to be hugged and holds hands when he sees something bloody on TV.

two hours later we say goodbye and see you tomorrow. i say i love him. he says it back. my thoughts drift to card i bought a couple of days ago. i catch the moment when my love actually grew. i do love him more today than i did yesterday. bruises, heartaches, scars from the past and all. i think i'll tell him that.

the best thing i've heard all year:
me: "i hope this goes away. i don't like seeing you sad."
him" i'm not sad. i haven't been sad in the longest time."