sorry ren. couldn't think of a more original title. it just seems like my head is in constant turmoil these days. i'm anxious about anything and everything and i'm analyzing every little thing to death. so much so that i've actually developed some sort of perpetual never ending tummy ache from all the worrying i've been doing. i know i should stop and stick to my resolution to let things go with the flow. but i can't. at least not right now. i'm trapped in some pathological anxiety ridden nightmare.
case and point: stan casually mentioned to me about changing the tiles on his floor to wood laminates. my brain automatically switched to high gear and started analyzing why he was changing the tiles. why would he spend so much on changing the tiles in his room? isn't he planning to move out of his parents house? doesn't he know i'm not going to live there if we tie the knot? does that mean he's not thinking of getting married? why isn't he thinking of getting married? doesn't he realize we've been in a relationship for 3 years? how much longer will i have to wait? or maybe i'm just wasting my time and he's never going to marry me. why not? what's wrong with me?.... so on and so forth.
plus i'm turning 26. i used to be happy whenever my birthday comes around but this year feels a bit different. i can't exactly put my finger on why i feel anxious about my birthday. maybe i just need to get excited about planning it or something or concentrate on turning off my incessant worrying.
2 comments:
shit. I'd react the same way too. Read between the lines. Why don't you ask him why he's changing it?
But then again, did you ever think that maybe Stan doesn't care if he blows off money for these new tiles, even if he knows he's not going to live there forever?
What about going back to that conversation you guys had when you went to Boracay that made you understand him better? Is that going to work?
Keep me posted.
good thinking. went back and read my blog about that. yeah.. i guess i'm just overreacting. so what if he changes the tiles. to men, tiles are tiles. good thing i kept my cool and didn't lash out about it. hehe. that would have been disastrous.
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