stans birthday weekend was almost perfect except for the fact that i'm writing this blog instead of being on a plane to boracay. i actually got him up early and we headed for the airport as scheduled. the take off was perfect and the weather was starting to clear up and then we started circling the runway and the pilot decided to go back since there was a rattling sound that was coming from the plane.
oh well... i guess i'll have to save that day trip for another time. needless to say i was really disappointed and on the verge of tears but stan put on a smile and said it was okay. we'll have lots of other weekends to go and better safe than sorry.
anyway. in reference to maya's blog. i guess it's quite alright to go down the path of least resistance for the time being. maybe you just need some sort of catalyst to launch you into making a decision to either fight for it or to put a stop to it. i've always believed in all or nothing when it comes to love, but that's just me. whichever you chose, you have to be committed to it 100%. there's nothing wrong with being vulnerable and there's certainly nothing wrong in telling him how you really feel about it. there's no loss of dignity when you tell someone that you still love them even if it ends in rejection. at least at that moment, if things go awry then you'll be prepared as opposed to being hit over the head and left in the dust when you least expect it. but i guess that's if you feel really strongly about it. but if the daily conversations have no effect on you whatsoever then maybe it's quite alright to just leave it as it is until it dies a natural death or develops into a totally platonic relationship. case and point.. stan and candy are exes but they don't talk 3 hours a day or i would have left him a long time ago. they talk once in a while and usually about computer problems and perhaps personal problems. and he never uses the term "we" with her or makes "tying plans" like putting up a business or whatever. plus she does all the calling. he's much too busy to be concerned with the life plans of his ex so i kinda have my doubts if that's all he wants from you. i mean... i'm your bestfriend and i don't think we've ever talked every day on the phone since we've graduated from highschool! and guys aren't built for long platonic phone calls unless they have some vested interest. contrary to what we believed when we were 16, there are assholes out there and i suppose you should at least try to unearth whatever motives he has. and besides, the fact that he says "if it bothers you, i'll stop calling." already suggests that he knows full well that it isn't A-OK but still persists.
i think as grown women, we should learn to realize when we're beating a dead horse and as quickly and painlessly as we can, move on. we don't have the time or the shelf life to be jerked around. if we can help it, we should avoid the undesirable as not to grow into a bitter-man-loathing old maid but look back on love experiences as lessons and not regrets.
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