pressure points

it's amazing how many strategies people have for me to get stan to pop "the question".

leave him.
make him miss you.
distance yourself.
pressure him.
talk to him.
ask him yourself.
don't let him take you for granted.
tell him.
make him
pray.

it's an endless list of how-to's, none of which have a 100% guarantee to work.

the newest addition to this loooooong and quite unsolicited list had to come from stan's dad today. i got cornered without stan around and along with my house sitting duties for the next 2 weeks came the talk about getting hitched.

sigh.. if only they knew...

i want it 10 times more than anyone does and the fact that people keep offering me strategies to "make him" doesn't help. it just reminds me more of the fact that he hasn't. or worse, reasons why he probably won't.

am i not worth somebody loving without me having to scheme and plan?
do i not love and take care the one i'm with to the very best of my abilities?
am i not thoughtful, patient, kind and all those things a man could want in a wife?

all i know is to love and love with all your heart. that's the advice i've given myself. it's who i am and what i know. if it works, then good. if it doesn't... too bad. he didn't get what i'm all about.

no amount of strategizing will make him change his mind if it's made up already.

i'm still holding out for that romantic nerve wracking spontaneous surprise proposal i've always wanted. i know i'm worth at least that much.